Shoes

Can you walk for more than a block in them? Of course not!
Are they expensive as hell? You betcha!

Here's some of the more clever footwear from the ready-to-wear collections for Fall 2009 (all photos courtesy of style.com):

Olivier Theyskens for Nina Ricci
The craziest of all. Look ma, no heel!

An engineering marvel, for sure. I was particularly amused by the version with a stiletto that only descends half the length of the shoe.



But when put together with the clothes, I didn't like the proportions created by the shoes. "Equine" was the first word that came to mind.



Chanel

In another feat of engineering, Karl Lagerfeld sent out heels with a jade lifesaver in the middle. I love the color combo, and the sorta surreal quality of the gap the ring creates.

A total aside, but I can't say the word "surreal" without thinking of that Project Runway contestant from Season 5, Jennifer Diederich. Cute clothes and all, but when she got booted off I remember her saying something along the lines of "I guess they just didn't understand my sense of surrealism". Yeah, them and the rest of the universe. Honey, a twin set is a twin set.

But back to topic...

Prada
This one gets the Easy Spirit award. Love the rubber sole. And given the height of that heel, it is probably reassuring to know there's a little extra traction on those slippery autumn sidewalks.


But that shoe is but a tiny prologue to the boots sent out in the same collection. "Mr. Wellington, meet Mr. Sock Garter". This is so typical of Prada -- combine a bunch of totally unattractive things to make one totally covetable item. Strong but still feminine, practical and yet totally superfluous.



Dries van Noten

I love that the snakeskin is only on the heel and sole, virtually invisible to the wearer who gets to stare at plain brown leather. In that sense, it's a selfless shoe, one that says, "I don't do this for myself. I do it for you."


Proenza Schouler

Like the wood. Also like that the layered sole of this bootie reminds me of a rubber flip-flop. And right now there's little I'd love more than some hot weather.


Rodarte
Last but not least, feast upon these grey leather thigh-highs from Rodarte. So sexy. And just think of the cost savings from avoided purchases of leggings, and pants.

The Shoulder

New York, London, Milan and Paris RTW weeks have finally come to an end. At the beginning of it all, I couldn't help but be a little excited by the wealth of shoulder that was being led down the runway. Everyone and their mother was referencing the 80s, which in turn referenced the 40s.

Exhibit A: Marc Jacobs


From a construction standpoint, I'm always interested in a designer's ability to transform the figure, whether to accentuate features or deform them. After all, boning, padding and darting have shaped figures far longer than have our modern practices of cosmetic surgery and exercise. So these new shoulders at first seemed refreshing and captivating.

But as we moved onto Milan, all of the exaggerated shoulders had already begun to lose their sense of novelty, and once that was gone, all that was left was a bad taste of Reaganomics.

Exhibit B: Gianfranco Ferre


Exhibit C: Dolce and Gabbana


While I believe that the widened shoulder is flattering to most women's figures, as it shrinks the waist, some of the more extreme examples overstepped the bounds of flattery. These versions referenced a tired form of "working girl"-era feminism, where the power of a woman was still defined by how "male" she was. No kids? Check. Doesn't show emotion? Check. Linebacker shoulders? Check.

The collections in Paris, thankfully, didn't seem to be as focussed on the shoulder. It still showed up, as it did comically in the otherwise great collection that Olivier Theyskens showed for his last hurrah at Nina Ricci (see below). But the more successful shows either tapped into the emotion of the times (Junya Watanabe) or attempted to provide a form of long-lasting, luxurious comfort (Lanvin).



Nina Ricci RTW S/S 2009

So at the end of it all, and assuming you have the money to spend on designer clothes, what does a woman want at a time like this? Designers seemed conflicted over whether the answer is escapism (via princess-like leg-of-mutton sleeves and Mildred Pierce shoulder pads) or comfort (via high quality, multi-season pieces). In some cases, that conflict appears to have crippled designers whose collections I am normally so eager to see. Nicholas Ghesquiere's show for Balenciaga was unfortunate. The palette was soothing, and the draping was absolutely beautiful. Sadly, that draping resulted in some of the biggest-looking hips to come down a runway since you could smoke heroine.


Balenciaga RTW S/S 2009

And if Raquel Zimmerman's hips look big, you better damn well bet that it ain't going to flatter a normal figure. Some amazing prints finally made it down his runway, but gone was his futuristic sensibility that in the past has taken those prints from dowdy to edgy, as he did in one of my favorite collections of all time, Balenciaga RTW S/S 2008.

Of course, how these collections translate into the looks actually available on the racks of department stores is anybody's guess. Given the conservative stance that most shops are likely to take when placing orders right now, I'd guess that many will be softened for a more widespread appeal, or buyers will opt for the safer looks that were mixed in between all of the costume drama. With the mellowing of conspicuous consumption, it's hard to imagine the sidewalks of next year jam-packed with shoulder pads, squeezing the nonbeliever out to the gutter like those wretched golf umbrellas. But crazier things have happened.